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Rainbow Disaster Pop

by Koa

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goomeevee thumbnail
goomeevee From the moment I finished listening to this for the first time, every song has been playing in my head non-stop.

I wouldn't have it any other way!

edit: After I hurt my leg, I told myself as soon as I was better, I'd rave to this. Turns out I broke my hip, so I can't quite walk yet, but it's rave time anyways! Favorite track: Get A Stallion.
Mercurial thumbnail
Mercurial It's loud, it's energetic, it's rebellious, it's super duper fun and it's catchy as HECK!!!

This album is seriously one of the best pieces of music I ever heard in my life. It's impossible to pick a favorite here, because every song is INSANE and amazing in its own way!

Koa, you're a goddamn genius <3 Favorite track: NO RAINBOWS PIZZA PARTY (feat. Luck Rock & Friends).
mistybrightcloud23 thumbnail
mistybrightcloud23 I love this album so much! It’s amazing, very catchy and very fun, such a fantastic blend styles ,koa is so talented and awesome! I’m so proud of you koa!! It’s so hard to pick a favorite I had dream i was a horse Is so fun! No rainbows pizza party is amazing as well, I love every song on this album! :3 Favorite track: NO RAINBOWS PIZZA PARTY (feat. Luck Rock & Friends).
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No rainbows, pizza party I flunked my flying test today So they brought me to a nightmare factory I guess because my wings are broke I’m no good to the pony folk Unless I’m ground to smithereens Of red and yellow, blue and green A rainbow mane peeks over the crowd (Hey, don’t I know that mare somehow?) And suddenly she starts to shout: “No rainbows, pizza party” Fuck the rules and forget the machines Let’s party like it’s 2012 We’re taking over this factory We run this scene all by ourselves Who cares if we can’t fly? Yeah, who cares if we don’t try? We’re a reckless misfit army No rainbows, pizza party There’s punch and cookies by the doors And fifty useless fillies rockin’ on the floor Turns out we can still be fly Even if our wings don’t like the sky We give a middle feather to the schoolers Screw the grades, we’re twenty percent cooler The workers start to join the fun (And still it’s only just begun) Dash at the lead, we sing as one: “No rainbows, pizza party” We won’t reduce ourselves to being decorations in the sky We’re taking over now, we sing it loud, our favorite battle cry… NO RAINBOWS, PIZZA PARTY
You sound like mischief when you call me up Say you’ve got somethin’ special for the two of us I’m dashin’ round the sky ‘cause I can’t hold still You say you wanna surprise me, yeah, I bet you will Every time, every time it’s something new Sugar sweet, peachy keen when I be with you So excited just to find out what we’re gonna do ‘Cause when you mix us together We’re the greatest mess ever Take my heart and stir it into batter ‘Cause we’re a recipe for the perfect disaster Oh no, you’ve got me all tangled up I’m captivated with you and I can’t get enough Intoxicated by the way that you touch I know I’m in for it now, but I want it too much You get me drunk on pure anticipation Take me home, we can party in your basement Pin me down, babe, I love when you’re impatient Will you call me your cupcake? Will you eat me right up? Will you be my favorite mistake?
My name, Derpy Can’t fly, can’t see Silly, clumsy No thoughts, head empty Can’t go to school ‘cause I get in trouble Peed on the floor, made a real big puddle Ponies say that I can’t be nothin’ But I, I, I… I’m real good at making muffins I know where the flour is And I’m extra good at bubbles I know every single color Purple green and yellow And I bet I’ll be super good at eating rainbows Mom gets, angry ‘Cause I’m, messy Just wants me to get out her hair Sometimes it’s hard to think she cares Sometimes I catch Mommy softly crying I can’t blame her, but I’m trying Hope one day I can see her smiling Down at me, ‘cause... What the world expects from me I can’t quite figure out But I swear, someday, I swear, somehow I promise I will make you proud Maybe I’m just good at small things And hey, that’s something! I think that’s worth being proud of
I had a dream I was a horse I had a dream I was a horse I had a dream I was a horse And you were in it And you were also a horse, of course I had a dream that I could fly Fly so fast across the sky Fly so high, fly so high But you couldn’t Because I… I guess you were just a regular horse That’s pretty disappointing, huh? But you did have an orange coat And some apples on your ass And you could throw a wicked lasso Yeah, it sounds crazy, bestie, I know, oh, oh! I had a dream I was a horse I had a dream I was a horse I had a dream I was a horse I had a dream I was a ho-o-o-o-orse I had a dream I was a horse And that you were a unicorse And you made hats and pants and corsets Yes, of course they were for horses In real life, you’re still a horse But you drive a cart through town Yeah you just carry folks around Man, does that ever get you down? In real life we’re still horses Driven round like Porsches We just run the courses Beneath the monkey forces So fucking bored Can’t wait to go to bed again So I can go back to that world inside my head again Equestria, oh I wish you were real Reality can’t touch the way that you feel Just take me back home, all I wanna do is sleep ‘Cause I’m never more alive than I am in my dreams I had a dream I was a PETITE PASTEL EQUINE WHO DIDN’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK
If you can’t lift something, if you need something built If you’ve lost your motivation or your will If you’re spoiled and entitled, just take life by the bridle (Get a stallion, get a stallion) If you're lonely, insecure, or inconsiderate If you're docile or demure, just consider it If you're a useless shovel-stealing little bitch Don't get in a twist - a stallion will do the trick This is my panacea, when something is unclear I get, get a, a, I get, get a... get a stallion Get a stallion Get a stallion If you need some action on that purple derriere If apple-bucking has you feeling worse for wear If you’re looking for love or wanna pee standing up (...I guess??) (Get a stallion, get a stallion) If you need something arcane and mysterious Look no further past the voodoo and the pixie dust It’s the perfect solution, yeah I’m serious Judge me all that you like, a stallion can make it right This is my panacea, when something is unclear I get, get a, a, I get, get a… get a stallion And should he reject me, and leave me feeling empty I’ll get, get up, up, and find another one… get a stallion Don’t want to do the dishes? (Get a stallion) Are you tired of being alone? (Get a stallion) Did a curse go awry and leave you brooding in your home? (Get a stallion, get a stallion) Did Pinkie rob your home of toothpaste? (Get a stallion) Is your plumbing looking broke? (Get a stallion) “Uh, well what if you can’t find a stallion?” Celestia, darling! Don’t even joke!
I used to party I was the best Then diabetes Put that to rest And my prescription For insulin It’s so expensive Shit’s fucked, innit Eating ice cream ‘til my brain’s a fridge Take me outside, roll me off the bridge And when I’ve passed, when the deed is done Tell everyone, one, one... That Pinkie Pie is dead That Pinkie Pie is dead, dead, that Pinkie Pie is dead That PInkie Pie is dead, dead, that Pinkie Pie is… Dance around the coffin, blast the sub until the city’s shakin’, yeah (‘Cause Pinkie Pie is dead, ‘cause Pinkie Pie is) Sing of Pinkie’s martyrdom and party till the sun comes up again (‘Cause Pinkie Pie is dead, ‘cause Pinkie Pie is…) You cheated Pinkie Left her to die And so with haste, comes My sweet demise Your stupid system Is super fucked This is the thanks you get, You pharmaceuticucks You’ll rue the day that you fed me lies Fester in guilt ‘til the day you die And by the power of my friends combined My soul will survive... When Pinkie Pie is dead
Such a klutz, I went and broke my wings again (uwu) And only one thing in the world can make them mend Sorry to barge in unannounced But I need ya, need ya right now ‘Cause you got the magic to heal me Just one thing I ask of you, baby Twilight Sparkle, kiss on me Twilight Sparkle, kiss on me, oh Twilight Sparkle, kiss on me Twilight Sparkle, kiss on me You’re the violet antidote to my ailment Just a taste of your love pushes me closer to salvation Take a breath and pucker those lips My hooves wander down to your hips This aggressive medicine, baby It’s the only thing that’ll save me
You probably think I’m just a spoiled little brat But I gotta be honest, this life sucks ass I don’t wanna play sit, I wanna play move, I wanna play run, run, run away Shut the fuck up, you don’t even know me I’m my own little pony You’re not my real dad Not my real dad I’m not your good girl, I just wanna be bad Yeah, you’re not my real dad Not my real dad Can’t tell me what to do, Hell no, screw that ‘Cause you’re not my real dad You found me in a box on the street, then just put me in a different cage You want me to follow every rule, but you’d hate for me to act my age You say the government will pull me apart, but you’ve already done it for ‘em, oh I think it’s high time I’m the one you listened to, so tune in to this chorus
Not much happening On this afternoon Get a martini And something to do Find the protege The book I had stored Put them together Why? I was bored, I was bored I was bored Trapped In a book with no way out Better move that hairy ass Or the pages make you splat When the cover shut like smack Gonna have to start from scratch Gonna have to (boink) Big Mac If you wanna get turned back Cash me outside, howbowdah I was bored
This is the very true, very true, very true story of Dash This is the very true, very true, very true story of Dash Come on, now, get excited, hop on for the ride, yeah hold on tight ‘Cause it’s the very true, very true, very true story of Dash I had a rough life as a foal Not particularly sharp or witty But I was faster than any colt And my rainbow hair, it sure looked pretty Billy from gym class wouldn’t stop calling me names So I fired up my laser eyes and FRIED HIS BRAIN Once I tamed a dragon Made it go back from whence it came Once I broke the barrier of time I went back from when I came And Spike became my servant due to Dragon Code And so I told him “take a letter,” and this is what we wrote One time I met a filly who was good at bubbles One time I went to Pinkie’s and we got in trouble One time I had a dream that I lived in a stable One time I trapped Twi in an arachnid fable One time I ran a factory and hid in the bathroom One time I found some tentacles in Twilight’s bathroom And one time Twilight kissed me, one time I got adopted And one time Pinkie died, and one time I wrote my autobiography…



10 episodes of Rainbow Dash Presents
10 songs
20% cooler


Get NO RAINBOWS, PIZZA PARTY shirts, masks, and more here (thank you Hyper Dash!!): www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/29290547-?store_id=56617


released August 28, 2022

All music and lyrics by Koa with the following exceptions:
Track 1: Guitars by Luck Rock; additional vocals by AniVet, AWal, Blitzy, BobaRatBlast, brambleshadow4, Brittney Ackerman, CyberDeathStar, Filloxen, Forward Progress, Frenchie, General Mumble, Heatrush, Ice, Leet, Luck Rock, Lunar Guardian, Maddman, MathematicPony, Hatsune Miku, MinersLovePonies, Nova Rose, Ocean, SamuDash, Seven Serenity, SnowShovel, Sunlight Rays, SuperGemV3x, TataKirk, Kasane Teto, Utane Uta, Violet, West, Whirlwind, Zephlo, Zovi
Track 4: Guitars and additional vocals by Francis Vace
Track 6 is a parody of Astronomia (Never Go Home) by Tony Igy
Track 9: Additional writing, production, vocals by Luck Rock

Mixing and mastering by Faulty: twitter.com/FaultyMusic

Art/design by Koa: twitter.com/KoaPony

Inspired by the Rainbow Dash Presents series by DawnSomewhere:

Special thanks to:
Luck Rock, for being my direct consultant on just about everything
Hyper Dash, for initially discussing and hyping up the idea of NO RAINBOWS PIZZA PARTY, and designing 🚫🌈🍕🎉!!
Faulty, for not only mastering everything, but helping me get equipment to make CDs in-house and doing much of the hands-on work himself. And also the kisses I like those :>
General Mumble, for his endless support, constructive feedback, and being the best husband imaginable, as always <3
Greg from DawnSomewhere, for creating RDP and allowing me to go forward with this project!

Top notch Patreon contributors:
Atlas Moon | Aurela Zayden | Michael Barlose Hansen | Ninja Potz | Travis Beard | Charles Marshall | Colt and Calculated | Jacquie Seven | Zuido | Berre Vandendorpe | Matthew Wilson | Michael Garbera | Sarah Brown | Austin Robinson | Gabe Stilez | Jack Herbert | Maxwell Thompson


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Mumble Etc. UK

Hello!! We are General Mumble Mumble and Koa.

All the artists featured here are characters in our heads that make the music in our heads.

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